Greetings, CODA friends!
Happy holidays from the chaotic wonderland that is the realm of rural Democrats, where the tinsel is tangled, the cookies are crumbling, and the cat has officially declared war on the Christmas tree.
As we reflect on the year that was 2023, we can't help but marvel at the incredible feats of survival and decision-making fails that have brought us to this festive season. It's been a year of growth, mostly in the form of regrettable choices and the ever-expanding collection of Oh No They Didn’t moments by the usual suspects in the Washington, DC branch of the family tree.
Little Georgie has taken up the noble art of interpretive dance, specializing in reenacting famous holiday movie scenes. His shall we say, peculiar, rendition of the leg lamp scene from "A Christmas Story" was a particular highlight at the annual US Congress holiday talent show. Of course that was before he was officially banned from any further public appearances within a five state area.
Nutty Aunt Marge tried her hand at baking this year. That she chose fruitcake is a surprise to no one. It's so dense, it could double as a doorstop (it takes after Margie). Rumor has it her supporters are working on diesel-powered fruitcake launchers for their next coup attempt.
Uncle Mike has become an expert in holiday light installation, or so he claims. We're not entirely convinced that a strand of lights should be hanging from the gutter like a lazy icicle, but hey, he insists if you stand at just the right angle, it’s in the shape of the shiny new gavel he’s afraid to use.
Cousin Laurie surprised everyone this year by announcing her engagement to her pet cockroach, Gary. We're eagerly anticipating the wedding ceremony, where Gary will be wearing a miniature Beetlejuice costume. He even has his own mini vape pen. Love knows no bounds, they say.
Grandpa Kevin has taken up a new hobby: extreme couponing. His closet is now overflowing with enough canned goods to feed a small army. If his recent retirement plans don’t pan out, at least he won’t starve to death. Rumor also has it Kev showed up at Papa Don’s again, asking for a little financial help, but no one answered the door. Grandpa Kev thinks Papa Don must’ve been taking his afternoon siesta. Either that, or the nurse was changing his nappy.
In conclusion, as we gather around the fire, roasting chestnuts and questioning other folks’ life choices, let us remember the true meaning of Christmas – a time for family, laughter, and the realization that no amount of wrapping paper can conceal the partisan chaos.
May your holiday season be filled with joy, merriment, and the occasional family meltdown. Don’t forget the popcorn!
In other news:
We had a wonderful First Friday at The Bearded Baking Company again this month. Thanks to everyone who joined us. Sorry Tom, you left before we got a pic. And thanks to random friendly stranger Eric, for taking it.
December’s CODA event is a Christmas Party at the Todd residence in Bastrop on December 16. Pot luck, ugly sweater contest, white elephant gift/ornament exchange, and food pantry donations. We’ve got it all covered!
There’s still time to participate in our food drive benefiting the Bastrop Food Pantry. You can drop food at one of our collection points, or click here to make a cash donation.
Our President Ruth Todd sends this update: “Democrats came together for the Lost Pines Christmas Parade. Around 20 rode in the parade, sang, and cheered. We got a great and welcoming response from the crowd.”
Some of the 2024 candidate filing deadlines have passed recently, so we are starting to get an idea of who is running for which office. We are so excited to see some local residents stepping up. Desiree, Joseph, and many others will be participating in some of our upcoming events, such as our Christmas Party this weekend and our annual fundraiser in March. We encourage you to join us.
Pencil us in for our Second Annual CODA Fundraiser at Watterson Hall on March 28, 2024. Food, music, and fun, just like last year!
Thanks for reading. Remember to like, comment, subscribe, and share. Until next time!